sherwat:

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

Here in Australia you are the murderer

(via little-ladle)

When I’m the most drunk person at the party

whatshouldwecallsinglelife:

When my friend says I should try speed dating

whatshouldwecallsinglelife: